67 posts tagged “pregnancy”
(Sorry - I'm in the habit of numbering my weeks now instead of writing out dates. It's faster this way, and I really don't think anyone but me is keeping tabs, anyway.)
So, on to this week's topic:
If you had a close friend, sister or neighbor who was about to give birth, what advice would you give?
This is quite simple for me, as a number of friends had their children just months after I gave birth to my son. In fact, I was just looking at an e-mail I sent to my friend Alyne in response to her question about what she ought to bring to the hospital:
Okay, here's what I actually used of what I brought:
Here's what I didn't bring that I wish I did:
How's that for practical?
The only other thing I've mentioned to a currently pregnant girlfriend (expecting a baby boy in September!) is that it took me almost a year to re-establish my rhythm. I still have some days that are better than others, but The Boy and I have more of a system in place. And it's working for us... for now.
Oh, and everything you think you know about motherhood and raising kids? Yeah, shove it in a box and keep it under your bed. You might check on some of those principles and ideas and such from time to time (which is why I don't suggest chucking them out the window), but for the most part, it's all trial and error. And just when you think you have it figured out, that teeny little person who just moved into your house will get some other ideas and turn your world on end.
But it's all so much fun!
I seem to only be able to remember to do this every other week. Ugh.
Today's flashback: Food Aversions.
I had terrible food aversions to chicken, mushrooms, and chocolate. Now, the mushroom aversion wasn't a big deal. The chicken aversion was troublesome, only because it's a source of protein (and we all know that pregnant women need a good amount of protein). And the chocolate aversion, well, as cruel as it was, it was also a saving grace for my weight!
I discovered the mushroom aversion after I brought some leftover steak and mushrooms to work with me. The mushrooms tasted terrible, as though they had gone bad. And then I recalled a few weeks prior when we were at the now-closed Hard Rock Cafe in Los Angeles (the first HRC in the US, for those playing along at home) when I ordered the vegetarian sandwich and couldn't eat it (though it's one of my favorite sandwiches).
The chicken aversion was much funnier when it made itself manifest. One night, Chris was cooking some ranch chicken, and I called to him from the couch, "Good God, what in the world are you cooking?" The smell was awful, and the thought of even eating any chicken was enough to make me gag. It wasn't until my eighth month that I was finally able to eat chicken again, albeit sparingly and begrudgingly.
Oh, and the chocolate aversion? The sight of it wasn't appealing. The smell of it was just awful. And because of those two things, I couldn't bring myself to even try any of it.
Thank goodness it didn't last forever!
New Mamma suggested blogging about a pregnancy flashback each Friday, and I've decided to play along.
Today's flashback: Heartburn.
Some Dutch or Scandinavian study concluded that women who experience a lot of heartburn during pregnancy give birth to children with a lot of hair. My Vox friends (and real-life friends, too) can attest to the amount of hair Baby C has. Not even 8 months old, he has more hair than both his grandfathers put together. So, you can only imagine, then the kind of heartburn I must have had!
Heartburn was probably my least favorite thing about pregnancy. (That and an aching coccyx. But that's another post.) It would almost always happen right after I ate something, but it would definitely happen if I ate too much. Considering how hungry I was throughout my pregnancy, it was difficult to not eat too much. So, I would spend entire days with a horrible, horrible pain in my chest that would only go away long enough for me to eat again.
Of course, if I didn't eat, I felt nauseous, so that really wasn't much of an option, either.
And, after all of that heartburn, my little baby boy was born with a full head of hair. As his head has grown, so has his hair, and he hasn't shed it like so many other babies do. Am I reminded of my heartburn every time I look at his little head? No.
But severe, chronic heartburn was definitely something on which I would have liked some advance warning!
Sorry my posts have been a bit scarce on here. It's in part because there really isn't much to report, in part because my head is too muddled from lack of sleep to come up with any funny/witty/ridiculous thoughts, and in part because I've been experimenting with Helium.
No, not the gas that makes you talk like Chip and Dale - the website!
I saw the ad on Gmail every time I got a message from Vox, and I finally clicked and signed up. It's basically pretty simple: you find a topic you want to write about, write, post, and wait to get rated. Your goal, as in all things in life, is to be rated #1 - but the top five will do nicely. The exciting thing is that of the five articles I wrote specifically for Helium, all of them are in the top three! (Two are #1, two are #3, and one is #2.) Okay, so some of those articles don't have much competition (up against only three others), but I'm still proud of it.
Anyway, what prompted me to write was that the article I wrote about my pregnancy journal - rated a lowly #3 of 4 yesterday afternoon - was #1 this morning!
See? I do know how to write!
I'm officially in my ninth month, which means Baby C is just packing on weight and I ought to start cutting back on the bad things that I'm eating (she says, after finishing her third donut of the morning).
It's hard to believe I'm at 36 weeks. On one hand, it seems like no time has passed at all, and my reaction is, "Wow! I'm already at 36 weeks!" On the other hand, it seems it's been ages since I was able to touch my toes, and my reaction is, "Wow... I'm only at 36 weeks?"
This can't be easy on my poor husband, no matter what he says. This morning, when I said that I really haven't been taking good care of him lately, he replied, "You're doing fine. I'm doing fine. I'm still alive, aren't I?" And while, yes, he is still living, I feel bad because I can't do half of the things I used to be able to do with ease... like laundry and loading or emptying the dishwasher. And my shower is a mess and I'm so aggravated that I can't effectively scrub the grout. In fact, lots of things in my house are a mess, and I get so frustrated at my inability to do anything, I'm ready to cry. But it's really not fair of me to expect my poor husband to pick up my slack because he's got his own list of Things To Do to finish before the baby comes, like preparing the nursery, building the nursery furniture, finishing the Tiki Bar, moving the stuff in the dining room to the finished Tiki Bar, painting the dining room, etc.
I miss having some semblance of order and a routine in my home life. It wasn't so bad a few months ago; if I couldn't sleep, I could at least get up and do some laundry or clean the kitchen or scrub the bathrooms. Now, I can't even transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer without needing to stop and catch my breath.
I really hope this doesn't mean I'm going to be a totally neurotic mother. I mean, I have enough neuroses as it is, but I don't want Baby C to know about them!
I had my baby shower yesterday, courtesy of Jen and Mark. It was a lot of fun, and I have to say that Chris and I were incredibly overwhelmed by everyone's generosity. Bekki and Doug got us the cutest little outfit for Baby C - it's a Kenneth Cole ensemble complete with distressed jeans (even the bottoms are just slightly frayed - as if he's been wearing them for years!), an oxford shirt and the cutest little corduroy jacket in chocolate brown. The boys were all saying that if they take him to LA, Baby C will get into the Viper Room with no problem, while they would still be waiting outside.
We had one game at the shower - really, the only game I could tolerate, since this was a co-ed shower. The object was to cut a ribbon the closest to my new and expanded waistline (without going over) - and whomever was closest won a $25 gift card to Borders. I don't know how she did it, but Jen was actually spot on in her guess! It was really funny. Some of the guesses were way off - by a good foot or more - and only Staci was under in her estimation.
For me, the best things about the shower - and the most humbling - were the realization that we have a lot of good friends who are anticipating Baby C's arrival as much as we are and the knowledge that he is going to be accepted and loved by a whole lot of people right away. He's got a number of great people he can look up to as he grows up, and I'm so glad for that.
It's really hard for Chris and me, knowing that we are so far away from our families and that Baby C won't get the chance to see his grandparents, aunts, and cousins very often. It's similar to how my sister and I grew up, though, because for the longest time, we didn't have family in the country, let alone in the same city. So, my parents bonded with their friends from the Philippines who moved to Southern California and created a different kind of extended family for us. This explains why I'm much closer to Cherry than I am to many of my real cousins. (For one thing, she speaks "Eileen".)
I'm very happy knowing that Chris and I have created an extended family of our own (albeit unintentionally), and that Baby C will be surrounded by lots of people who love him already. And I'm feeling much more prepared for Baby C's arrival now.
I'm having more difficulty getting comfortable these days. The latest and greatest pain has been my coccyx, which is just very awkward because it's not like it's something that can be fixed, per se. It's just a dull, throbbing pain that doesn't seem to lessen unless I'm hunched over my exercise ball or leaning against a wall. Neither position is particularly conducive to sleeping.
So, I thought this would be a good time to compile my list of 10 things I don't love about my pregnancy. Here they are, again in no particular order:
1. Acne. I have the worst acne I think I have ever had in my life. It's on my chin, on my neck, behind my ears, on my chest, and all over my back. And it's not like the little annoying pustules I had throughout adolescence, either - these are horrible, cyst-like things that multiply on a seemingly hourly basis. It doesn't matter what kind of wash I use or how often I use it or how deeply I scrub at my skin until I'm certain I've taken off three layers of my epidermis - and even my old Neutrogena Rapid Clear Gel standby doesn't seem to do the trick anymore. No, these are just a result of my hormones going out of control, and I think relief will only come once they're regulated again.
2. Late night potty breaks. In the first trimester, it was annoying, but not a real pain. Of course, in the first trimester, I didn't weight upwards of 150 pounds and I could easily vault myself in and out of bed. And, in the first trimester, I didn't have difficulty fully emptying my bladder. But lately, my nocturnal bathroom visits are becoming more cumbersome, and I think the baby almost likes to play "How Long Will Mommy Wait Before She Gives Up?" with me as he compresses my urethra. These are the fun games I play with my son while he's still in utero.
3. No more cuddling. Well, no cuddling the way we could before my belly swelled to gigantic proportions. My husband and I still have our quiet time together, but I miss being able to wrap myself around him and snuggle against him. It's the best way for both of us to fall asleep, but I can't do it anymore because I haven't been able to sleep on my side in months. And I really miss cuddling my husband.
4. A different relationship with food. Now, I love food. I think food is wonderful, especially when it's prepared well. But I haven't had the luxury of really being able to enjoy food these past few months, and I really do miss that. Before getting pregnant, I steered clear of fast food restaurants and avoided french fries like the plague. Now, it doesn't matter so much what I eat, as long as I'm not hungry anymore. And that is a sad, sad state.
5. Odd comments from random people. I have a big belly. (How big is it?) It's so big that I can wear drawstring pants again as long as I tie the drawstring under my breasts. This is normal - it's not like I'm the first pregnant woman in history. In fact, I'm sure there are thousands - maybe even hundreds of thousands - of pregnant women around the world as I type. And it's inevitable that we will all get big bellies, for big bellies mean healthy children. That said, is it really necessary to remind me how huge I'm getting? Or to ask me how much longer until the baby comes? At least people don't touch my belly unless I tell them it's okay. The brave few that have reached out sans permission had their own bellies rubbed in turn. Really, if that's their idea of a warm greeting, why should I be rude in response? Anyway, it only happens once.
6. Maternity clothes. I found some cute maternity clothes. I really did. I've even passed along those that didn't fit me for long, and I'm really quite proud of some of my finds. Mind you, a lot of my tops are my pre-pregnancy tops or my husband's T-shirts (though I do have 7 or 8 actual maternity shirts), but, for the most part, I think I've been able to maintain a certain degree of my personal style. That said, I'm tired of my maternity wear. After all, I only have 4 pairs of pants that still fit me (but require a constant tugging at the waistband) and one dress. I really miss the broader selection of clothes that I had before I got pregnant. And I miss wearing my cute little sandals, too.
7. Fatigue. I am normally a very energetic person. I've been known to multitask around my house and successfully tackle multiple projects without even complaining of an aching toe. When I went back to school for my MBA, I was working full time, took a full-time load of classes, and picked up a part time job because, well, I had some extra time. Those days seem like such a distant memory now. Midway through my workday, I find myself longing for a nap, and by the time i get home, I am so tired I can barely scrape together a meal for my poor husband. (Yes, he does know how to cook, but we also have an unfinished nursery that he's working on.) Add to this sleepless nights and my increasing inability to find a comfortable position for anything, and you get a better idea of how much I don't love this constant feeling of fatigue.
8. Swelling. Absolutely everything about me is swollen now, from my nasal passages to my toes. I swear I've grown two chins, though my husband doesn't agree (but he did say my face was a little "fuller"), and I've recently taken to only wearing my wedding band because of my new Carpel Tunnel Syndrome and my poor, stubby little fingers. The only part of me that hasn't swollen - and for this I am incredibly thankful - is my butt, though my hips get wider each day as my pelvic bone continues to split. [sigh]
9. Nightmares. Now, some of these are funny in retrospect, but they certainly don't help with my already sleepless nights. I've never been a fan of bad dreams, but they are increasing in regularity, which I really don't love. I ought to be thankful for them though, because, as awful as the visions are, having dreams mean I've entered that period of deep, restful sleep.
10. Almost constant discomfort. I thought I would end the list with the thing I don't love that prompted me to write this post. I don't like being uncomfortable. I don't think anyone does, come to think of it, which would probably explain why babies are born to begin with - it's too damned cramped in there! If I'm sitting, my coccyx hurts. If I'm standing or walking around, ithere's all this pressure on my pubic bone. If I'm lying down, it's my sciatic nerve acting up. I haven't tried standing on my head yet, but I don't know how comfortable that would be after a while, either.
Now, in all fairness, these 10 things all crept up on me during the past few weeks. Well, except for the acne - that started in the first trimester, abated in the second, then came back with full force in the third. So, that being the case, there really are more things I love about being pregnant than things I don't love.
But if I could pick one thing I could do without, it would probably be the discomfort.
Dear Ankles,
I have to confess that I was quite surprised and more than a bit dismayed yesterday at the doctor's office when I looked down at my feet and noticed you were missing! You didn't even leave a note or give me a chance to explain what's been going on. I thought we'd discussed all the temporary changes that were to come with pregnancy, but it seems like you've both decided to up and leave, especially now that the weather is nice enough to run around in shorts!
How long have you been missing? I know; shame on me for not even knowing the answer to that. I thought you'd like to know that Calves have decided to take up residence where you left - they've decided to spread out a little, too, much to my chagrin. And they're a very bad influence on Feet and Toes, I must say. Perhaps I never fully understood how much you really did to regulate appearances down there. Look, I know I haven't seen you for quite a few months, and it's been ages since we last had a pedicure, but I still can't believe you've left me. Was it something I ate? Maybe I didn't drink enough water? Or are you mad because I'm still trying to walk around as much as possible?
All I know is that you and Waistline are the only ones who have deserted me, and it's truly devastating. Oh, I expected Waistline to hightail it out of here as soon as she heard I was pregnant - she barely lasted a few weeks after the stick turned blue. But, Ankles, we've toughed it out together for so long! Even though other women have told me their Ankles left during pregnancy, I honestly thought we had a strong enough bond that you wouldn't leave me.
Please come back, Ankles. I miss you!
Yours truly,
Eileen
Last night, my husband remarked that he has witnessed nothing (well, except for feeling the baby move) about pregnancy that is remotely enjoyable or could be missed after the baby comes. And upon some introspection, I decided that I disagree - there are lots of things I'm enjoying about my pregnancy! Here are 10 of my favorite things (in no particular order):
1. Feeling the baby move. It's even more exciting now because his movements are a lot more visible from the outside. There's something very comforting about it, once you get past the strangeness of realizing there are bones and all sorts of other body parts growing inside of me! I like his hiccups, too, because they let me know how he's positioned and serve as a reminder that he's practicing the use of his lungs.
2. Quiet time with my husband. Oh, we had quiet time before the pregnancy when we would sit on the couch and snuggle, but quiet time has developed a whole new meaning now because, though there's still technically only the two of us, these are our first few moments bonding as a little family. I like it when he talks to the baby (though he doesn't do it often), puts his ear on my belly (and reports clicking sounds when the baby has hiccups), or just holds my belly and savors the baby's movements.
3. Baby things. I especially love those things that are miniatures of my husband's clothes. For example, my mother bought a pair of little khaki "cargo pants" that look an awful lot like a miniature version of my husband's pants. I went to the Converse outlet this past Saturday and bought a tiny pair of black Chuck Taylor "hightops" - again, miniatures of my husband's shoes. I love baby booties, baby blankets, baby clothes... It's just so hard to believe that something so tiny is going to grow to be so big one day. Even harder to believe is that the little baby with his foot lodged in my ribs was once no larger than the size of a grape seed when we first "saw" him on ultrasound.
4. Hearing pregnancy and baby stories about family members, especially those about my husband. I have two beautiful nieces, so I've already heard a lot of stories about my mother's pregnancies, but they didn't seem to fully register until I was pregnant myself. I could tell you all about my own birth, too, because I've asked for and heard the story so many times, but it's much more real now that I'm expecting a baby of my own. My mother-in-law's stories about my husband and sister-in-law were all new, and I've enjoyed hearing them. The combination of these stories make me wonder even more what kind of a child Baby C will be - and what kind of labor and delivery I will have!
5. More reasons to talk to the family. Not that I've ever needed a reason to talk at all, mind you, but knowing that a little boy is joining the family soon is a wonderful reason to send random e-mails to my family! I actually started journaling the day I found out I was pregnant, but I didn't start sending out e-mails to everyone until I was well into my second trimester. It was really my husband's idea to e-mail my weekly journal entries to our immediate families. In all honesty, I didn't think anyone would really care - so much of pregnancy, I've discovered, is an internal process - literally and otherwise! While my body makes room for the baby (and prepares to eject the baby at some point) and the baby is growing and getting ready to face the world, my own psyche has to undergo its own transformation. After all, the world will no longer revolve around me as it has the past 32 years. Rather, in a matter of weeks, I'll have a whole new identity: Baby C's mom!
6. Developing my Mommy Network. Of course, my Mommy Network consists of friends I already have, some (like my sister) who already have kids and some who are just a few weeks or months behind me in their own pregnancies. There's something about pregnancy that's this strange bonding thing, something that you can't quite explain to the people who have never been pregnant before. And whether my Mommy friend has a 16-year-old, a 6-year-old, or a 16-month-old, they've all been here and can empathize like no one else.
7. Nesting. I started nesting in my second trimester and haven't quite kicked the urge to clean, which frustrates my husband to no end because I'm so fatigued right now. This is particularly odd because cleaning has never been a favorite pasttime. It's something I'm enjoying, though, because I'm getting ready for my little baby! And who doesn't want to bring a brand new baby home to a nice, clean house - even if he won't see the top of the refrigerator for another twelve years? I've made trips to the library to donate books and to Goodwill to donate stuff (for lack of a better word), and I couldn't even begin to tell you how much stuff I've either thrown out or given away in the past few months. There's something very liberating about it.
8. Baby preparations. This kind of falls in the same category as nesting, but I think of it differently. No, these are those idealistic plans I've put in place for once the baby comes. I really ought to journal them in my pregnancy journal so that I can laugh at myself in a few months or years when I realize nothing I have planned (or will ever plan again) will go according to plan. My planned maternity leave is just the start, I'm sure. Thank goodness I'm a good contingency planner, too!
9. Daydreams. I haven't been much of a daydreamer for at least the last 15 years, but when Baby C is moving around a whole bunch, I can't help but wonder all sorts of things about him. What kind of a child will he be? Will he be into sports and play football and basketball like his grandfather? Will he be an artist like his dad? Will he have a good head for numbers like both his aunts? Will he look like his dad? Will he be tall like his dad? What will he be when he grows up? What will his favorite color be? Will he like going to Disney World? Will he like to read? It's things like this that can keep my mind occupied for hours on end.
10. A new sense of purpose. The fact that I have a little person coming into this world who is going to rely solely on my husband and me for the first few years of his life is amazing. Recently, I reworked my personal budget to make room for his daycare expenses and was astounded at how willing (and perfectly able) I am to cut back on certain luxuries and unnecessary expenses to make sure Baby C has everything he needs. And now I understand why my mother was always confident that if we (my sister and me) ever needed anything, somehow, we would manage it. I am actually savoring this new reality. I just hope it lasts!
Book: Show us a book that made you laugh out loud.
Submitted by Red Pen.
My sister sent me this book, and I devoured it almost immediately. There were parts that made me laugh so hard, I was ready to cry. (There were other parts that made me sit up and say, "What? Oh, hell no!"
The best thing about this book was that it made me feel better, knowing that I'm not alone in many of the things I'm thinking and feeling. (Especially those things I'm thinking - like, what the hell possessed me to suddenly decide to clean out the junk drawer in the kitchen last night?) And it's written in such a frank, conversationalist way that it honestly felt like advice coming from a girlfriend.
In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I've included it in a bag of already outgrown maternity clothes that I'm loaning a newly-pregnant friend.
Don't get me wrong - What to Expect When You're Expecting is a great book to have on hand, but this is a book I think should be required reading for all the women considering having kids! It wouldn't change my mind or anything, but it's a really great heads-up on what you'll be going through!
And now there's a second edition... though I don't know how much it differs from the first.
