Motherhood Is Not For Wimps: No Answers, Just Stories

Elizabeth, Soutter Schwarzer

If you are a mother and have not read this book, please please do yourself a favor and read it. Hell, if you're a father and haven't read it, you ought to read it. And if you're expecting a child or ever hope to have any offspring, you should still read it.

To say that it's funny would be a gross understatement.

To say that I laughed out loud so many times and fought hard to keep back tears would be a gross understatement.

To say that this is one of the funniest things I have ever read would be a gross understatement.

It's just something that you need to experience yourself.

Now, in fairness, it's not just a funny book. In fact, I found a quote within its pages that I plan on posting on my wall and committing to memory:

Something about being a mother makes you put your kid before all else. But the truth is, too much of that and the kid isn't getting what she needs most, which is you. Sometimes, the trick is figuring out how to put yourself first so there's something for the kid's needs to be carried on.

Elizabeth Soutter Schwarzer's anecdotes are hilariously funny but also poignant and sweet. There's a story about a trip to the beach where her daughter let go of a kite and was devastated by its loss. She also talks about having terrible morning sickness and her feelings of inadequacies in caring for her daughter when she was too weak to care for herself.

There's a lot within these pages that I know I can look forward to experiencing for myself, and that's a big part of the reason it's so enjoyable. And I'm really hoping that she'll release a sequel!

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Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

Okay, the title alone made me laugh, and I've already promised to loan this to a friend (who thought it equally funny). Is it a book for the experienced mom? No. (Do I consider myself an experienced mom? Also, no.) But did I laugh out loud a number of times while reading it? Hell, yes!

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is a friend of Chelsea Handler's (whom I think is hysterically funny) who works in the entertainment industry and lives in the Los Angeles area. In fact, her pediatrician, whom she lists in the acknowledgements section of the book, is in the Valley and probably not too far from where I used to live, myself. (I didn't look him up to double check, though. I'm not that crazy.)

There are a lot of things that she talks about in the book that just made me laugh. Mommy and Me classes, for example, and women who do absurd things like wear shirts that read "Dylan's Mommy". She devoted an entire chapter to playground cliques: whom to befriend, whom to avoid, and whom to emulate. She also discusses the grave importance of choosing a name for your child and refraining from ridiculous spellings.

I really enjoyed reading this book because it had a no-nonsense approach to mothering. She reminds the reader that there really is not a "right way" to put your baby to sleep each night, and that being competitive about when your baby reaches which milestones compared to someone else's baby is simply unfair - to the kids! I found myself thinking, "Hey! That sounds familiar!" more than once while reading, like when she discussed getting her daughter on a nice sleep schedule, only to have it rudely disrupted by teething. The whole book was written in a very casual, frank style, as though she was sitting right next to you, and was a very quick read. In fact, if I had more free time, I probably could have polished it off in a couple of hours.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to laugh at the early days of motherhood. A part of me wishes I read it while I was still pregnant (there's a lot I could have prepared myself for), but I can fully understand a lot of the humor now that I've experienced at least some of it.

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Peeing In Peace: Tales & Tips for Type A Moms

Beth Feldman

The first book I've read since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows also happened to be a parenting book, or, rather, a book to help me through some of my daily struggles with being a mom. Its pages are full of funny anecdotes and advice on how to not feel guilty about working outside the home.

The authors, Beth Feldman and Yvette Corporon, both work in the entertainment industry and chose different paths in approaching their careers once motherhood beckoned. Both chose to further their careers, but it was the ways in which they did so that differed.

One of the funniest things that showed the differences between the authors was their approaches to serving food. Beth, for example, says, "I don't do cupcakes," and goes on to write about bringing Dunkin Donuts Munchkins to her son's bake sale. Yvette, on the other hand, says she cooks out of guilt, as if elaborately planned and executed meals and dinner parties make up for the time she spends away from her kids. (The chapters on food also have recipes, including a chicken tenders breaded with whole wheat panko. I'm anxious to try that one.)

My one gripe, though, is that the book assumes that the reader can easily adapt her schedule to work from home at least part of the time... which isn't always possible. Sadly, I think companies that understand the value of telecommuting employees are in the minority, at least in this state where I live. (Ironically, I would probably do more work, not less, if I were working from home, especially since I spend a good part of my days waiting for things that don't post until the late afternoon... right before I need to go home.) It also assumes that the reader works in an office (which I do, but which many moms do not) and has a fairly predictable schedule.

There are a lot of moments in this book that made me laugh out loud, though. I could relate to a number of things they discussed, and some I can just imagine are coming my way as Baby C gets older. But I'll have to say that the book was a wonderfully funny and fresh perspective on how to juggle being a wife and mother who works outside the home.

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