Update on the laptop
J still has the laptop in triage. He's still running a slew of diagnostics, but it appears the hard drive is defective. We'll know tomorrow morning if I need to get on the phone with Dell and argue my case to have them send me a new hard drive (I've had the computer in my possession for less than three weeks, after all). It appears that will likely be the case. Bleh.
In the meantime, the laptop will remain here overnight for observation, and J will have all the test results for me tomorrow.
This just means I actually have to get some rest tonight instead of staring at the laptop all evening.