Ulterior motives

Generally speaking, I'm a very trusting person. Some might even say I'm too trusting.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I like to believe the best about people. I like thinking that people have genuinely good hearts and generous souls.

So, why, then, am I starting to reevaluate my opinions of people?

I have a number of acquaintances whose company I enjoy (most of the time), but I draw the line at calling them "friends" because I don't trust them. There are other people I know (many of whom I prefer to avoid) whose words and actions I carefully weigh because I can feel another purpose behind what they may say or do.

And it's exhausting.

I'm blatantly honest when I tell people my motives. I interviewed a coworker last month, for example, to write an article about her. I wanted to write a "Working Mom Spotlight" and asked if she would mind being my guinea pig. My goals, I clearly explained, were to (a) brush up on my interviewing skills, (b) write a decent article for submission and (c) have her pass the link to my article on to everyone she knew so that I could earn a bit of money from it. It was a very nice article, if I may say so myself, and I painted her and her side business in a very positive light.

I have another friend who is mad about fitness. So I offered myself as a guinea pig while she works on getting certification as a personal trainer. After all, I'd like to be a little more fit, and I like hanging out with her. In the interim, she's also helping me declutter my house by taking career clothes out of my closet and a few other odds and ends, too.

I don't think people mind my honesty when I explain the real motives behind certain actions. Maybe that would be a different story if I called up a friend and said something like, "Hey, I just want to gossip about so-and-so and want you to tell me all the bad things you think of her so I can later tell her what you said when she and I get together to gossip about you."

But I'm not that kind of person, anyway.