Transition Woes
I feel like the worst mother in the world. But I know that I'm not.
As of Wednesday, Baby C is now 11 months old. This means, at school, that he will begin the transitioning process to the Yearling (Toddler) class in two weeks.
Here's the list of things he needs to have accomplished before they can accept him in the Toddler class:
- Must be able to feed himself
- Must be able to walk well
- Must be able to understand directions
- Must be able to drink from sippy cup
- Must be able to eat table food
The first, he can do... sort of. He's not fond of utensils, save for throwing them and banging them on the table or high chair tray. But he's a pro at feeding himself rice cakes, oyster crackers, Chex cereal, and other small bits of food.
Check.
The second, he's not so proficient at doing. Let's face it: the kid just started crawling a month ago. He's very good at crawling and is quite mobile, but aside from his attempts at cruising (he does very well until he wants to grab a hold of something else), he's not a walker. Yet.
So, no check... yet.
The third, he can do, though he doesn't always obey. The other day, his teachers were telling him to be nice and give me a hug (he was very mad at me; I had attacked him that morning with the saline spray and the evil green suction bulb), and rather than going to me, he stood (sat) his ground and started to cry out of frustration instead.
So, check.
The fourth, I've been working with him on this since December. Let's face it: he's not overly crazy about sippy cups. This morning, though, he successfully drank four ounces of milk from his sippy cup (he had a very dry breakfast of Rice Chex), so we might be making progress there.
So, no check... yet.
As for the fifth, I'm happy to report that he had his very first completely grown-up meal yesterday: half of a quesadilla (courtesy of Dad), green beans, a little water (from a sippy cup), and milk (okay, the milk wasn't exactly grown-up food). More importantly, he fed himself the quesadilla, though I had to help him with the green beans. The thing is, I took a copy of the school lunch menu, and there are a number of things on the menu that simply aren't in his diet yet. Fish sticks? No. Salad? No. Beef stew? No. Tater tots or mashed potatoes? Fine, if you can get him to eat them - but he hates potatoes, so, no. Vanilla wafers and animal crackers? Definitely not.
So, while, yes, he can eat table food, I don't like the table food they're going to give him. But I'll happily pack a cold/room temperature lunch for him each day. Does this mean he doesn't get a check on this?
The worst part, though, is that one of the directors spoke with me at length yesterday about these benchmarks, and I felt this small after our talk. (Oh, and I was really late getting to work, too.) It's not like I'm doing anything to impede his development - that's the very last thing I would want to do! He needs to grow and learn and develop at his own pace, and if it means he's not walking for another two or three months, so be it. (Though, I have a feeling that within a week after discovering he can walk, Baby C will figure out how to run.)
Starting next week, he'll strictly be on a sippy cup at school (though I'll provide empty bottles in case he's completely refusing them - there's no use in letting him get dehydrated), and I'm already scouring my cookbooks for table foods that I can make for him to eat. That's the most I can do to help him transition. The rest is up to him.
And at this age, no amount of coaxing, begging, or bribing can make him do anything sooner than he's ready to do. In another year, however...
Comments
Whoa, all of that by 11 months? My Kidlet did not walk until 15 months (likely because I carried her everywhere).
You are doing great mom. Lots of boys walk slower... Mine was well over his first birthday before he was a solid walker. And a lot of friends boys didn't walk until near 14 months. Don't sweat it... just keep practicing with him.
As for the rest... food, sippy cup, even naptime/bedtime... those are going to be a challenge at this age because it's LITERALLY the only things he can control. He can't control anything else in his life, those decisions are made for him, so he is learning to exert his independance by his food and drink and sleeping choices. The more stubborn the child, the more you need to back off and give them space. Trust me, they will not starve or become dehydrated. When he's hungry, thirsty, tired... he will do what he needs to do. From my experience, the more you push and force and make it a battle of wills, the worse the outcome.
Don't let the teacher/director make you feel bad. Each child develops and advances in their own time. How many college kids do you see eating with their hands, having their mom feed them or drink from a bottle? Right. So he will figure it out too. You just keep loving him and encouraging him, and he'll do great!
He won't transition unless he's met the benchmarks. They're not going to expell him or anything; he'll just stay in the Infant classroom until he meets all the benchmarks and there's room in the Toddler class. Walking is the number one objective he has to master; feeding himself is next. But they begin the process a couple of weeks before the child's first birthday.
I know why they're "encouraging" me to work with him on these benchmarks. This is a business, after all, and there's a long waiting list of parents who want to get their infants into the center. I understand this. But like you said, all kids develop at their own pace.
I just wish someone would remind the directors of this.
so yeah. i'm not stressing about it, though. i mean, she'll figure it out on her own eventually. and it's not like she's starving. :P hehe...
don't let them make you feel small!!!! in fact, they should be ashamed of themselves. seriously. you are doing a great job. and they should be happy to have such a good kid in their center.
anyway, i hate it when people say that kids have to do certain things by a certain time... can you tell? hehe.
xox
You know, my older niece didn't walk until after her first birthday, too, and she's a very intelligent almost-7-year-old now.
Thanks, everyone. This is precisely why I love all my friends and neighbors!
Have you tried straw cups? My guy won't take a sippy cup (he just lets the liquid dribble out of his mouth instead) but he will take a straw cup. He's extremely slow on it (at least compared to a bottle), but he will drink.
Don't stress about it. It's not like he has to be ready on his first birthday. And even if he did, 29 days is almost an eternity in infant development time.
Oh, just wait until you actually get to see him live - it's definitely different than Memorex. My mother-in-law even commented on his determination - Baby C will do things his way and only his way, and, moreover, only when he wants to do it. (That sounds a lot like his other grandmother, come to think of it...)
Dear Eileen,
I agree completely with Grrrace. Don't let them make you feel small because you respect your child's need to develop at his own pace! I mean, yes it's a business, but so what? Why did they go into the business of child-care if they wanted something they could turn out assembly-line fashion?
This must be an excellent center, or else you wouldn't have enrolled him there in the first place. But please, PLEASE, don't EVER be ashamed of standing up for your child's developmental needs!
You are a FABULOUS mom, and you know your child, and you love him dearly. That much is perfectly obvious from your blog postings.
Good luck with this! And don't let 'em stress you out. He'll get there when he gets there.
Cheers,
C
That "table food" sounds gross. Fish sticks and tater tots? Aiyiyi. I hope they let you send his food each day.
And I mean... wanting a child to be able to understand directions or walk out of the room during a fire drill? Some kids that have been walking for YEARS won't simply walk out of the room because they're told to do so. lol.
And secondly, whatever prerequisites they have for transition to the toddler room, the director should never make any parent feel bad that their child isn't doing certain things! Jeez, that's annoying.