The Art of the Regift
I'm a regifter. I admit it. I think it's very difficult to not regift, only because I receive a lot of very nice gifts (usually from people who don't know me well) that aren't necessarily my taste and that I know someone else would like to have. And such is the way of the regift.
I think regifting gets a bad rap because of those who don't do it well. For example, the paper mache snowman figurine given to me this year by a coworker is not going to be regifted. In fact, it probably won't even make it inside the house. Likewise for the plaster snowman family that I received a few years ago from a coworker at a different job. I can't imagine anyone out there really would want it, unless they happen to be avid snowman figure collectors (of which I know of none). So, maybe it's an Ebay item, instead. For a penny.
No, the art of the regift is about passing along a nice (this is the critical piece) gift to someone who would enjoy it at least as much - but hopefully more - than you would. Even better is if said gift is actually something you know someone else has expressed an interest in having. For example, a few years ago, I received a Best Buy gift card as a thank you for a job well done. It was a very nice gift, and for a decent amount, too (more than $50). But I have little need to go to Best Buy, and I don't often go there when I need something they sell, anyway... so it got regifted. And the recipient was pleased as punch. That's how to properly regift.
So, to recap:
DON'T regift tchotchki items unless the recipient actually collects tchotchki. It's painfully obvious that it's a regift, so save yourself the embarrassment of listening to the polite (but strained) thank yous and put it up on Ebay instead. Or, better yet, submit it for a White Elephant present.
DON'T forget to take out any packaging, cards, notes, or any other items that blatantly call you out as a regifter. My husband's old roommates received a very nice bar set for their wedding, only to find a card from the recipient's Great Uncle So-and-So in the packaging. Oops.
DON'T regift to someone in the same circle as the giver - and especially not to someone who was there when you initially opened the present that you now plan to regift. I like to break up my associates into groups: I've got Family (F), Close Friends from Home (CFH), Current Co-Workers (CCW), and Close Friends in Florida (CFF). Now, because F is in close proximity to CFH, I won't regift between those groups. But I can regift something from F to CFF, or from CFH to CCW, or even from CFF to CCW. But regifting within any one group is a definite no-no.
DO include something new with your regift. Even if you're already regifting a very nice, very expensive something, it wouldn't hurt to include an additional touch. I think I paired the Best Buy gift card in my above example with a video game. The art of the regift is about being frugal and thus able to give more, not about being cheap.
DO carefully pair the intended recipient with the item you wish to regift. Someone who is just learning to knit, for example, would be the perfect recipient for a book on knitting that you received from someone who didn't realize that you're an expert knitter. (I'm not a knitter; this is truly an example. And though I've scrapbooked for ages, I would be hard-pressed to part with any of my idea books.)
DO take good care of the items you plan to eventually regift. My mother was an expert at this. She would carefully unwrap something, dutifully write the thank you card, then take the gift and store it in our hallway closet (where she kept all the last-minute presents for surprise visitors). We always had back-up presents stashed, all boxed and in pristine condition, and no one ever knew they were regifts. Or, at least, no one ever let on that they knew. I remember one Christmas when some people came over to the house unexepectedly, and Mom brought out all these presents for everyone - wrapped and all - as though she had known all along that they were coming. That was the year I gained a whole new appreciation for the Post-It note.
By the way, if you're wondering if you've ever received a regift from me, you probably have. I'm an equal opportunity regifter.
But I also make it a point to not regift crap.
Comments
So you nominated me! Thanks so much!
(I only hope others view it as a nice PSA and don't think I'm too awful for promoting the regift!)
Granted, I wandered in by way of the [TIG], but I think your ideas *do* bear repeating. I think you're right-- regifting HAS gotten a bad rap, and it's hated precisely because it's been done so bombastically bad before.
I mean, the media *just* started buzzing about the downsides and hidden catches with gift cards-- about at a time when the negative connotation of "the gifter was tacky and didn't know what to give you" to be superceded by "for the people that are hard to shop for, at least this allows them to buy what they want where they want-- and is a little more restrained than pure cash." So the media is busy warning the public about hidden fees and monetary value that eventually expires...
...when, quite simply, the root solution is just getting the right gift to the right person who wants it. So I think your solution, so artfully pulled off, can do just that. After all, who sincerely questions the idealistic, but very noble saying of "It's the thought that counts"? People can be materialistic, but I still think most folks appreciate honest and heartfelt intentions.
And as I mentioned in my post, I've regifted some really good things - things I may not have thought to give to someone or may not have even known where to find, but things that are pretty awesome, nonetheless.
I agree, regifting does get a bad rap. It's presumed that if someone regifts they are slighting the recipient. This is not necessarily true. If you think about it, it's a win/win situation (if done correctly per the above rules). The regifter doesn't have to keep a gift that they don't want and they also don't have to buy a gift for the intended recipient of the regift. Plus the recipient of the regift (hopefully) gets something perfectly matched to them. The old adage "One man's trash is another man's treasure" definitely applies here.
The Seinfeld episode where Elaine's label-maker gets regifted within their circle of friends is a good example of BAD regifting!
But I think the absolute worst faux pas in regifting would be to regift something to the person who originally gave it to you. THAT would be mortifying!
Mind you, this is a joke gift and is always paired with a real present, but your comment just reminded me of that!
I think gifts that are thoughtful and suited to the person, make the person feel really good because it creates a sense that the giver really knows you and thought of you.
This year I decided to give thoughtful gifts only. My dad always gets chocolates for presents....from everyone. He definitely doesn't need them and they don't last anyway. If you choose a gift that you know the person will love, get lots of use out of, and be ale to keep for a long time it should be well worth the money.
Great post. Congrats on TIG!
I was on the interesting end of a re-gift. A friend came to my wedding (sort of last minute I think) and brought a gift. There was no tag/card on the outside. When I opened up the gift, a rice cooker, there was a card inside the box. Addressed to my friend and her husband. From aunt someone. We got a good laugh and returned it for something else. Still haven't told her about that. Maybe I should and we could all get a good laugh.
Unfortunately now I would find a rice cooker quite handy, as I've recently learned that you can steam veggies in them, but that one wasn't very expensive and probably would have broken by now anyway.
I love hand-me-downs. I'm also a younger sister, so it's expected. Earlier this month, my sister sent me a box of stuff for my little boy (all hand-me-downs), and included with it was a number of baby food cookbooks that she saw on my Amazon wish list. It turns out, she used some of those same books with my nieces many moons ago (the younger is now 4-1/2).
Just as Guycita said, hand-me-downs and regifting is all very green. Of course, I never really thought of it that way before, but she's absolutely right!